Day 34 VLCD - Water Rention sucks!

Round 1
Date started – October 8th, 2007
Starting Weight – 267 lbs
Weight today – 242.5 lbs
Weight loss today – + 2 lbs
Weight loss yesterday – 2 lbs
Weight loss since beginning – 24.5 lbs

Hey all!

I was prepared for a gain, so I'm not going to let it get me down! I feel like a stuffed sausage today, I'm so bloated. AND, I take back what I said about TOM being easier this time around. It just decided to fool me into submission! Today has been HORRIBLE! Cramps so bad that I've slept most of the day away, and a migraine so bad I want to cry. *sigh* I think I'll take days off for my period the next round. This is killer. I'm grouchy, too.

Ok, there is something I need to get off my chest. I left the message boards a little while ago (posting that is) because I got so tired of all the cattiness and the pettiness. I guess because in my life, I forgive anyone anything. I can't see the point wasting energy in fighting over pointless things. I've been feeling guilty about not posting on the boards, taking information, without contributing anything. Today, I don't feel guilty. I've been scouring the boards for some homeopathic remedies for cramps, or headaches.. etc, and I came across a disturbing "mob mentality" post about David Yancey (sp?).

Just to give you a little history, my mother-in-law approached me about Kevin Trudeau's book, "The Weight Loss Cure". She has been on my case about my weight for about 10 years.. anyway, I digress. I am not a fan of Kevin Trudeau and I've always felt that he's a bit of a con artist. (very sorry if that offends anyone!) Anyway, I started to research the book so I could go back to my mother-in-law, who thinks the sun sets on Kevin Trudeau, and show her that it was a scam. For the most part, MANY MANY sites bashed Kevin and his book. I couldn't find any that supported it. THEN, I found a post on Amazon.com from a supporter of the diet, saying that it helped him and to check out the hcgdieters group on Yahoo. So, I joined. This was David Yancey's group. I started reading, and reading and reading some more. I probably read for 2 weeks straight, every minute I got. The more I read, the more open I became to this diet. The site introduced me to "Pounds and Inches" which was the scientific approach to the diet and not just the "Flash and Dash" part.

So... here I am, maybe 3 months later, 25-ish pounds lighter and that is thanks to David's site. I NEVER would have given this diet any credence if it hadn't been for that site. I have sinced joined as many of the Yahoo groups about hcg that I could, but have never posted on any except David's.

What's my point, you ask? Well, as I've said, I stopped posting, but continued to peruse the information. Then I came across a "mob mentality" post that completely horrified me and made me ashamed to be a female. This post was completely about bashing David and a company I guess he is a partner in: hcgsupplies. Not only did this post question his integrity, but it criticised his weight loss photos. Why does this offend me as a female? Because men don't do this!!! Why do women feel the need to say hurtful things that don't help anyone? We are like sharks, and we smell blood in the water, and we go into a frenzy. I don't get it, I really don't. Maybe that's why I never fit in on those boards. I don't feel a need to be a part of the "clique" by hurting someone else. And yes, he was hurt. He posted that the comments made him cry. That brought tears to my eyes. And what did it help? He cleared up all the misconceptions, admitted to being a partner in the hcgsupplies site, but never withheld the information. What is the crime in that? I just can't figure out how that is "sneaky". If I had a product and a webpage, I think I would advertise it, too. Perhaps he should have said, "And my company... etc". But we all make mistakes. Still, why make fun of his photos? (And yes, I've seen them. He has lost a ton of weight, and they are inspiring.) They were photos that he obviously took of himself naked. As far as I have been able to gleen, he took these photos for himself, to see the change in himself. I hope this is the reason we all take the "before" photos. From what he has posted, he was begged and pleaded with to share. He blotted out the "private parts".. maybe a little conservatively.. but posted them with the intention to inspire others. He was probably proud of those photos and the evidence of his weight loss. Now he is ashamed, and hurt, and he will never look at those photos the same, without remembering the hurtful words.

THIS is the reason I don't post on message boards. Every day we are faced with choices. We can hurt or we can help. I choose to help. I will never willingly hurt anyone, and I will do my best to turn the other cheek if someone hurts me. If someone does something I question, I will ask myself if there could possibly be another side to it.

Years ago, a woman I worked with sent in a complaint about me. The rest of my co-workers were up in arms, and couldn't believe it. *I* couldn't believe it. I've never made an enemy in my life. I blamed myself for it, and felt bad that I made someone feel bad and I apologized, eventhough I didn't know what I'd done wrong. Years later she approached me and told me that she has lived with the guilt of that complaint. She admitted that she was jealous of me and my "people skills" and felt that she was invisible next to me. I forgave her, but it made me question myself for years. We have to think harder about our decisions and even our words. Words can really do damage.

Message boards seem to bring out the worst in people, and only make women look worse. Many women bond and form great friendships, and many rise above... but I think these boards also make it *ok* to say whatever we think. Just because they are words on a screen, doesn't mean that we don't still have responsibility for what we say.

I, for one, will probably never post my pictures now. I, too, am only in underwear in them. For me, I hope that someday I will be able to look at them and have a great sense of pride at how far I've come. In my photos, I am over 100 pounds overweight, and I am sure to many, a fat woman in her underwear is "gross". I don't like them either. I think people post their "before" and "after"s to show how far they have come. Many people haven't finished yet, and are still "fat". Can you imagine how you'd feel if you posted your progress photos and someone said "ewww gross" and how hurt you would be? I can't imagine it. It must be horrible.

Ok, I think I've made my point... stepping off my soap box now. I just hope all of us will rise above these petty things, and think before we type. I don't know David Yancey personally, in fact I don't think I've ever even posted a reply to him, or him to me. I feel a kinship, in this whole weightloss journey, to ANYONE that struggles with weight. These places are supposed to be our safe places to post, and I hope they continue to be.

Ok.. I feel better... hubby will tell me later I'm PMS'ing.. and I probably am!

Cheryl